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Posts Tagged ‘dementor’

It is summer, and there’s not much to do. In other words, there is plenty of opportunity to feel sad.

I suppose it is a season of dementors. They glide into you and take control, and sometimes they do their job so well that you think you’ll never be happy again. But eventually they let you go, they always do. When I was younger I didn’t know that, and once had the terrifying suspicion that they were never going to go away. I tried to express my fears into mediocre poetry, which, taking advantage of the reader’s patience, I reproduce below.

Apprehension

Lips trembling, face burning, heart pumping;
The forces of id work relentlessly to overthrow
reason from this temple – A strange unnatural heat
spreads through the body like a spirit freed;
Turbulence in the soul, sweat in the brow
And vague senses of doom in the ears ring.

 

Man’s worst enemy is at work, wrecking vengeance
On his conscious; Making me fear – anticipation
of something that is perceived to be killing
brings with it a poison far more galling
than what it seeks to analyze – And makes me shun
my most creative tool as greatest foe-my subconscious.

-written by me sometime in the year 2000. 

Yet, there is Mozart.

He makes me happy. He has this incredible capacity to drive away the dementors by the beauty of his music. He makes me think of pretty flowers and tender leaves, green vales and lofty mountains. He shows me all that is beautiful in the world and fills me with love.

This post should end here, but I just remembered something slightly unrelated. Once, after one of those moments of utter happiness granted by music- I was hearing Mozart and Salil Chowdhury- I wrote to someone:

“If I had to spend a lifetime on a desert island,
Three things would I ask
Mozart, Salil Choudhury, and Math
Yeah, that, and no more.”

To which she wrote back( and if you know her you’d know why it was the best possible reply):

If I had to spend a lifetime on a desert island,
I would ask to retain my imagination,
with the added quality that I not need anything real,
to project my imagination onto. “

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It’s been a while.

To get over the essentials…

The winter’s over, it’s a new term, new courses. Nothing much happening otherwise. The same old stuff – homework , chat , angst, movies, cricket. An occasional trip to someplace else. Joshua tree, Long beach, Channel Islands.

There are some nice pics at my homepage

Watched an old western today. It was called “My darling Clementine”. It is funny to watch these old movies. Someone once wrote, “The past is a foreign country, we do things differently here.” Sorry if that wasn’t too deep:) Maybe I should have postponed this resumption of blogging to a more opportune moment.

Talking of movies, the notable ones I have watched in the last couple of months: “The tenant”, “The fearless vampire killers”, “1947 Earth”, “I am not afraid”(italian), “When Harry met Sally”, “Annie Hall”, “Finding neverland”, “The phantom of the opera”.

Just two comments: “When Harry met Sally” is the best romantic comedy I have seen. “1947 Earth” is one of those rare, rare movies, which, despite not being very well directed,  still contain something truly truly worthwhile, usually in the guise of an emotional punch. I was in Earth mode for at least two days after I watched the movie…

And even if a blog is essentially a place to jump around without apology…I wish I were a better writer. But hark, French beckons, and so let me end with something I once wrote to someone, because she is on my mind right now.

Days pass by in a slow blur,

Misty mornings and the midday loo,

And when a dementor gets too close

It leaves me painted in horrible blue.

……

My supreme daily bliss is reached,

When I hear from you, my ***

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